Summer

It's funny how when you wait for so long for something to happen you have no idea what to do with yourself once it actually gets here.

How long did I spend waiting for summer? At least the past 16 weeks of class... longer, if you count the winter since I absolutely hate the cold and wait for summer the other 9 months of the year. And I always have all of these plans for summer. Things I wish I could do but just can't pull off during the rest of the year, usually because I'm too busy.

Yesterday was my first free day since my last final, and what did I do? I slept until about 1 in the afternoon, and then did absolutely nothing.

What a waste.

I mean, I don't even feel good doing that, because I have no energy and I get a headache usually. So why the hell do I keep doing it?

I am NOT going to waste this summer. I'm not going to spend all day doing nothing unless I have work. And when I hang out with my friends, we need to actually GO OUT. There are so many things I want to do, and then I always push them off, saying I guess I'll do it tomorrow. Surprise, surprise. I don't ever do it.

This summer's already looking a bit better, but now I'm afraid once that's all over I won't want to do anything else. I mean, I've been planning these trips for how long? A while. A couple months at least. So of course I'm all excited. And then they're going to go by too quickly and I won't want to do anything else after.

I need something else to look forward to, so I don't just completely give up my summer. Again. Because work, work, and yes, more work, is not enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning.

I miss being a kid, when I was allowed to do nothing all day and not have to worry about any responsibilities. Really, growing up sucks. I want those summers back. I never wasted those summers. Now all I have is a complete lack of motivation to do, well, anything. It's too bad I never appreciated it when I was a kid. Now I would trade almost anything to have that back.