Reality vs. Fairytales

I've been giving a lot of thought recently to whether or not this is all worth it.

Don't get me wrong- I'm not afraid of a little hard work. But there comes a time when you realize that dream you've held onto for so long really isn't that practical. Especially if you're not sure you want it anymore.

So then it's either keep on trudging through with the thought that maybe, maybe someday I'll want it again, or just stop and sit back for a moment. Take a minute to breathe. Take a moment to get a new perspective.

Lately I've been trudging through, thinking that in the end I'll either have everything I need or I'll have more than I need, no harm done. But now... now there might be more harm being done than the potential can overshadow.

It's exhausting. Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. All. The. Time. It never ends. I can't even remember what it feels like to be just tired anymore.

I think I have an unrealistic view of what's going to happen if this pays off. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and maybe I've deluded myself into thinking that this could actually work. That I have a shot at this. I mean, only like 15% of the people get in. Even less actually make it. Not very good odds.

And even getting in doesn't mean anything would happen after. Let's be honest here. Life isn't fair. The people who work hard are always the ones who reap the reward.

But if I do make it... it would be amazing. My fairytale come to life. And what more could a person ask for in life?

Well, maybe a little bit more encouragement, but that would just be greedy, wouldn't it? Can't have everything.

So... is this all worth it?

I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see.